My Therapy Approach as a Trauma Therapist in Washington

My priority is to see you grow and to make changes in your life. I genuinely want to see you thrive. If you're searching for a therapist currently, it's a safe assumption that you're looking to change. I'd be honored to help you make those changes.

I got into this field because I've experienced just how powerful and transformative it is to have someone support and encourage you during difficult moments in life. The effects of meeting with someone trained, empathetic, and attuned to us each week are powerful. Little by little, with time, we find that we change and start becoming the person we've always wanted to be.

In my clinical experience, I find my clients get the results they're after and work toward their overarching life goals. From entering new, secure relationships despite a past history of avoidance and ghosting, to branching out to friends and family members despite feeling isolated and chronically lonely in the past, to landing a new position at a company that's no longer taxing and burnout-inducing, to no longer being haunted by intrusive memories of sexual assault and abuse from childhood and achieving a sense of peace. It's a gift to witness the growth of my clients over time

But that growth doesn't come easy, and sometimes therapy isn't cake and rainbows. In fact, oftentimes, therapy can cause old wounds to reemerge and sting, and if we can tolerate that sting for a moment, we can ultimately neutralize that sting so that painful memories and self-limiting beliefs no longer hold us back. So that painful events and traumas no longer dictate our actions on a subconscious level.

Here’s how therapy tends to work with me:

Taking Action Each Week

I’m action-oriented. Instead of just talking the talk, I’ll give you some challenges during the week so that you can actually walk the walk and put new insights and emotional breakthroughs to the test.

• The girl you’ve been avoiding asking out because of your fear of rejection?

• The uncomfortable conversation you need to have with your spouse?

• That pattern of ghosting love interests?

• The fear of eye contact and being seen?

We’ll develop a plan for you to continue to progress; to take steps forward and start acting like the person you know you can be. The assignments or “weekly missions” are dependent on how severe the anxiety or distress is, to avoid overwhelming you. Much like in the gym, we’re required to increase the weights we lift with; I take a “progressive overload” approach with clients so that little by little, we chip through resistance, and you start doing rather than merely talking.

Revealing Inner Truths

I’m insight-oriented. I have a strong inclination for Adlerian Therapy (also called Individual Psychology), which falls under the umbrella of Psychodynamic Therapy. This is a fancy way of saying our unconscious beliefs and repressed emotions largely influence our thoughts and behavior, and that if we become aware of these influential experiences and how they affect us, we can flip the script and start acting with better control and be the person we’d like to be. Not the person our parents or childhoods shaped us to be. As you narrate your experiences, I’ll be scanning for connections that you may not be fully aware of.

You’ll find me checking in with you as we go, as I want to make sure my hypotheses resonate with you. We’ll dig further into your behaviors, attitude, and beliefs, and explore thoughts, memories, and emotions that might be operating in the background. Over time, the people we date who remind us of our parents but who are abusive and no good for us become less appealing. The unconscious belief that we’re stupid because of chronic bullying in elementary school, leading to poor grades and effort, may feel silly and distant. You may feel more empowered once you reflect on possible sources of problematic actions you take today.

Evidence-Based Interventions

I use real therapeutic tools, not fluff. In addition to receiving a 4.0 GPA from Marshall University during my Clinical Mental Health Counseling program, I continue to educate and learn tools that help clients based on reliable clinical research. Taking a structured, proven approach is often necessary, I find, when it comes to treating traumatic experiences and PTSD.

Rather than engaging in traditional talk therapy (which has its uses and can be beneficial), I’ve invested hours and hundreds of dollars into advanced trainings, including: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) (which involved 6 days of training and several hours of practicum training with other clinicians, in addition to consultation with an expert who trained with Dr. Francine Shapiro, the developer of EMDR), Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), and Mindfulness interventions (including my past experience sitting two Vipassana courses, involving 10 days of silent meditation and fasting). With me, you’re getting a therapist who’s committed to excellence and his own growth; someone who actively seeks out feedback. Someone who continuously learns and works on his skillset to better serve his clients.

Real, Honest and Trustworthy

I’m upfront, honest, real, and direct. That doesn’t mean I’ll be brutally honest. This doesn’t mean I won’t sugarcoat what I have to say, at times. I’ll voice my true thoughts with you. It’s the least I can do if you’re being real with me. I find the realer I am, the realer and more comfortable my clients become. This doesn’t mean that I will discuss my personal life a whole lot (although I welcome questions about my life) as I want to keep the focus on you to ensure your growth. But it does mean that I’ll talk to you about some uncomfortable truths and point out some underlying motivations or emotions that may be moderately uncomfortable to hear. Exposing, even. I want our sessions to feel authentic; a place where you can be your truest self without masking behind pleasantries, worrying about fitting social expectations, and brownnosing. To facilitate this, I aim to be real with you and an honest, reliable figure in your life.

I Won’t Be Your “Yes Man” and Validate You 100% of the Time

I won’t validate every single emotion, thought, or persepctive you have. Practically all of us experience distorted thoughts and beliefs. We all have our biases shaped by past experiences and our interpretations of them. This happens to the best of us, including highly intelligent and highly self-aware people. Nobody is immune to biased thinking and distorted thought patters. While I may validate your experience and acknowledge you may feel or believe something, I won’t recognize it as the one, absolute truth oftentimes. That is, I’ll acknowledge your subjective takeaway from an experience and emotions that you feel, but I’ll also acknowledge that it may not be completely objective or based on reality, and that emotions don't dictate logic. On one hand, it’s important to feel understood and empathized with (which I aim to do); on the other hand, it’s my duty to help you pick apart and analyze your thinking, at times, so you can walk away from distressing situations with greater objectivity (and ultimately, greater psychological peace).

As an example, let’s say you claim to have found the man of your dreams and you’re in love. But it’s only been two dates; you don’t even know his middle name or much anything else about him, and you have a pattern of falling in love easily. While you may certainly have feelings for this man, it’s likely too early to tell. I’ll gently point out that true love and connection are built steadily over time. I’ll point out that feel-good hormones flare during early dating stages, and this can cloud our judgement. While it can be annoying and hurtful for someone to push back on our thoughts and perspectives all the time, when necessary, I will give you some objective points to reflect on. Being understood and validated all the time is a fast-food meal; it tastes good in the moment, but it doesn’t truly nourish you.

Building a Strong Connection

I focus on building strong connections with you. I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything. I want you to feel like you’ve gotten things off your chest that you’ve been holding onto for years, and that you can speak your mind freely. Ideally, you’ll take some risks in therapy, and express your true thoughts and feelings, even if it feels unnatural, awkward, and foreign. I want you to feel comfortable opening up and being your true self. The more you open up and acknowledge difficult emotions and are willing to engage in difficult conversations, the more therapy will benefit you. Many clients report feeling that I’m the only person they can talk to about anything without feeling judged. They sometimes report feeling like they’re talking to a mirror, and in conversation with their inner self. While therapy doesn’t need to be an excessively emotional experience, I hope you feel comfortable expressing a range of emotions, including the emotions that live in a suppressed state within you, free from worry of judgment from me.

No matter what you've gone through, including the most horrific circumstances and events, I'll be there for you during our sessions. Nothing you say will shock me or scare me away, or make me respect you less. I have a high tolerance for traumatic experiences and hope to be not only a person you can vent to and open up to, but someone whose grounded energy you can rely on.

…But Not Your Only Strong Connection

I don’t want to be your only source of support. While we’ll build true intimacy and discuss topics that might feel taboo, dirty, or secret, and many clients report that we feel like we’re friends, my goal is to help you build a stable life outside of therapy. Engaging in the therapeutic relationship can ripple out into your daily life, so that you’re better able to manage disagreements, relationship setbacks and ruptures, and intimacy with greater comfort. You’ll find I encourage my clients to connect with others, and to form deep, enduring relationships, be they romantic, platonic or collegial. Forming outside relationships is especially important for clients who are suffering from chronic feelings of emptiness and loneliness. While I’m happy to provide comfort to clients, I encourage clients to nurture existing or neglected relationships and form new ones. I believe being in deep, healthy relationships and forming intimacy and community is a universal goal to strive toward.

My Goal Is to Help You No Longer Need Me

I’m focused on you eventually not needing me (although I’m always available for “touch-ups” and infrequent sessions to help you feel more secure). While I’ll be there for you and genuinely care for my clients, my goal is that they go on to thrive in their lives. That they pursue their academic, career, financial, and personal goals. While I’m willing to be a crutch for people to lean on, especially given rates of loneliness and friendlessness today, I hope the tools and insights lead to meaningful and enduring change in your life. Throughout our progression in therapy, I hope that you learn to feel secure in relationships and offer security. That you learn to treat setbacks as momentary inconveniences and not permanent states of failure. That emotional experiences that once felt unmanageable become temporary emotional experiences that you know in your heart you have the capacity to feel, even if uncomfortable.

If you think my therapeutic approach may be beneficial to you, please reach out to me here.